A man walks into a bar, and without hesitation, heads directly towards the bartender. He pulls up a stool at the counter, and asks for the four horsemen. The bartender smiles and says, “Are we talking wrestlers or the drink?”
0.375 ounce Whiskey (Jack Daniels) Arn Anderson
0.375 ounce Tequila (Jose Cuervo) Ole Anderson
0.375 ounce Scotch (Johnny Walker) Tully Blanchard
0.375 ounce Jagermeister Ric Flair
“Ah”, says the man, who smiled in praise. “Let’s see if you are up for a more difficult challenge”. Naturally agreeing, the bartender replied, “Let’s hear what you got?”
So the man loosened up his tie, let out a cough and began to reply,
“My problems began when me wife caught me snoozing, perhaps it was the light rum and the brandy that made me start boozing. Following up with a little triple sec and lemon juice, I was sure out for the count, especially when I was shaken with only the right amount. When I awoke the next morning, I was met with a hangover, but it was the wife who told me that I ought to bend over. As she kicked me out the apartment, my mind began to think. Then, as I saw the door open again with two pieces of clothing flying towards me, I knew at that time, she had found them in ____________. The girl I had slept with, I think her name was Brandy or Mandy or perhaps even Mary, but don’t be confused in the name that she carries. She isn’t as bloody as you all seem to think, but perhaps it is I that needs a new drink.
The bartender replies, I have just the drink for you. Let’s begin by mixing Vodka (100-proof), Midori Melon Liqueur, and Sprite) and putting that aside; I’ll start with Grenadine on the bottom, and to that I’ll add the mixture. I’ll finish them off with my dear old friend Jagermeister. The man replies, “vodka, sprite, and jagermeister in a shot, oh this can’t be good, who knows what I’ve got?
The bartender replies, “I’ll give you a clue, the girl you slept with just happened to be Mary and before the end of the night, you’ll be with her old boyfriend Larry.”
~ A Bartender's Riddle ~
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
To all that can appreciate the holidays -
Creating a Christmas list is often the toughest task
First rule of thumb, don’t reach for the flask
Don’t feel discouraged, simply ask them for a list
Thinking creatively you throw in a twist
If you think long and hard, its twenty four days to shop
Perhaps it’s your brother, who needs a new mop
Your sister asks for a hair dryer, a massage, nothing too cheap
Why it isn’t a surprise that your eyes start to weep
But you do it in love and hope for the best
For in return you may get some rest
Gift certificates, jewelry, movie tickets and more
Why haven’t you got off your behind and out the front door?
See it, buy it, and throw it in a bag
Buyer beware watch out for the tag
One twenty, two twenty, three… maybe four
Oh who am I kidding, I can’t keep score
A box of golf balls, or perhaps a diamond ring
Whatever the present, it shouldn’t read “cha-ching”
Christmas is a coming, and presents are being wrapped
But rest be assured, you are not being trapped
For Christmas is a day of celebration, to spend with those you love
But up until that day, be careful not to shove
For there’s nothing worse then for you being caught
In not fulfilling and keeping with the Christmas thought
First rule of thumb, don’t reach for the flask
Don’t feel discouraged, simply ask them for a list
Thinking creatively you throw in a twist
If you think long and hard, its twenty four days to shop
Perhaps it’s your brother, who needs a new mop
Your sister asks for a hair dryer, a massage, nothing too cheap
Why it isn’t a surprise that your eyes start to weep
But you do it in love and hope for the best
For in return you may get some rest
Gift certificates, jewelry, movie tickets and more
Why haven’t you got off your behind and out the front door?
See it, buy it, and throw it in a bag
Buyer beware watch out for the tag
One twenty, two twenty, three… maybe four
Oh who am I kidding, I can’t keep score
A box of golf balls, or perhaps a diamond ring
Whatever the present, it shouldn’t read “cha-ching”
Christmas is a coming, and presents are being wrapped
But rest be assured, you are not being trapped
For Christmas is a day of celebration, to spend with those you love
But up until that day, be careful not to shove
For there’s nothing worse then for you being caught
In not fulfilling and keeping with the Christmas thought
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Am I a workaholic? Well, didn’t you get the memo?
The moment I wake up and get ready for the day, I can’t stop thinking about what things I need to do and how long they are going to take. Yes, if it passes through me, it becomes my business; whatever the job, however long it takes to complete. When will I be home is not the question, the answer is when am I heading back into work. I don’t know. In school, professors had a list of tasks they wanted to complete each day, and as certain issues took longer to complete than others, most of the time, these tasks were carried over to the next day and so forth. What I consider my life to be is a passion. Why I chose accounting is because it is constantly in our lives and that no matter what we do to avoid it, it is a deadly plague; for richer or poorer.
You could say I am married to “Accounting”. If accounting is like a marriage, and between two jobs I am currently employed, well, you very well could say I am having an affair between two beautiful women. My problem is I never have enough time for them and can’t live without them. I’ll first tell you about the girl that is out of my league, dressing in her corporate business suit emblematic of her economic class in society, not mentioning the cleverness she has as a salesperson. She knows what she wants in life, and will do whatever it takes to get it, if the price is right. She is looking for a team player that strives on excellence and settles for nothing less then giving 100% percent. She is the girl that loves the publicity and will go out of her way to greet each and every person in the crowd. Last but not least, she is the type of girl that will challenge you every day of your life and make you realize that once you have seen the light, the shadows are often too dark to return.
The other girl is a little bit more like me with regards to small business. She doesn’t care how she dresses, just as though it’s considered “business casual”. Similar to loving publicity, she can “sell a ketchup popsicle to a person in white gloves”. She goes after one particular market or industry where there is a demand or need for her services. She and I have a history together, and although she has tried to end our business relationship on multiple circumstances, I have never gone away without a fight. In fact, you could say we have a mutually beneficial relationship. I show up when I want, and do what I have to do; come and go as I please. She gets pretty feisty when she isn’t in control of her finances, of which I seem to have a firm handle over.
Then of course there’s that other girl, the one that the entire family seems to love. I consider her just a friend though. She is definitely someone you can talk to about anything. For the most part, she will listen to you and support you in whatever decision(s) you make. However, I just don’t see a future together, sure its fun, and I enjoy her as a person, but at the end of the day, I’d rather have her as a friend than nothing at all.
You could say I am married to “Accounting”. If accounting is like a marriage, and between two jobs I am currently employed, well, you very well could say I am having an affair between two beautiful women. My problem is I never have enough time for them and can’t live without them. I’ll first tell you about the girl that is out of my league, dressing in her corporate business suit emblematic of her economic class in society, not mentioning the cleverness she has as a salesperson. She knows what she wants in life, and will do whatever it takes to get it, if the price is right. She is looking for a team player that strives on excellence and settles for nothing less then giving 100% percent. She is the girl that loves the publicity and will go out of her way to greet each and every person in the crowd. Last but not least, she is the type of girl that will challenge you every day of your life and make you realize that once you have seen the light, the shadows are often too dark to return.
The other girl is a little bit more like me with regards to small business. She doesn’t care how she dresses, just as though it’s considered “business casual”. Similar to loving publicity, she can “sell a ketchup popsicle to a person in white gloves”. She goes after one particular market or industry where there is a demand or need for her services. She and I have a history together, and although she has tried to end our business relationship on multiple circumstances, I have never gone away without a fight. In fact, you could say we have a mutually beneficial relationship. I show up when I want, and do what I have to do; come and go as I please. She gets pretty feisty when she isn’t in control of her finances, of which I seem to have a firm handle over.
Then of course there’s that other girl, the one that the entire family seems to love. I consider her just a friend though. She is definitely someone you can talk to about anything. For the most part, she will listen to you and support you in whatever decision(s) you make. However, I just don’t see a future together, sure its fun, and I enjoy her as a person, but at the end of the day, I’d rather have her as a friend than nothing at all.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
The girl who found love, and danced with an unknown fellow
I’m seeking that girl whose intuition or passion in life was inspired by her parents’ upbringing; success has made her a woman. Beginning at the bottom of the mountain, she would have begun crawling around suspicious of the world around her. Once she became restless, “a big fish in a small pond”, her parents would pick her up, journey to a different place, and there the girl would begin a new adventure. With every displacement, she would develop the knowledge necessary to be able to adapt in her environment. She never forgets that in one sense she will always be daddy’s little girl and momma’s sweetheart, for family will always be there when friends aren’t. As that same girl takes with her the knowledge and wisdom that has been passed down from generation to generation from family and institutions, she realizes that her own future is knocking on the door. In due time, she will perhaps meet her soul mate and as for the rest…well, that’s history.
Many face the difficult task at hand; when the door to college closes and the uncertainty of what door to open next is eagerly waiting. So, with options they contemplate and as time goes by they are still left in the same predicament they found themselves in years ago. She however, opens a door with what little knowledge and experience is to come, and thus becoming quite the risk taker. She may fail, then again she may succeed. Whatever the result, she has taken the next step in her life.
As I have said before, and will say again, every girl has a story to tell. I guess the issue I have is trying to decipher the derivation and probability how a boy became man, and stumbled upon the path of that girl that wasn’t afraid to try something new; nonetheless tango with an unknown fellow. Hearts have been broken, and tears have been shed, but love is divine. Love is a synergy between two people…and that no matter what culture they been raised, background they have learned, and barriers that have been set in place, in the speed of light could drop what ever they had been doing and share that unspoken, unprecedented stream of communication that ties together two hearts for a few short moments. In fact, those moments don’t have to be physical to express the feelings one has for another.
Many face the difficult task at hand; when the door to college closes and the uncertainty of what door to open next is eagerly waiting. So, with options they contemplate and as time goes by they are still left in the same predicament they found themselves in years ago. She however, opens a door with what little knowledge and experience is to come, and thus becoming quite the risk taker. She may fail, then again she may succeed. Whatever the result, she has taken the next step in her life.
As I have said before, and will say again, every girl has a story to tell. I guess the issue I have is trying to decipher the derivation and probability how a boy became man, and stumbled upon the path of that girl that wasn’t afraid to try something new; nonetheless tango with an unknown fellow. Hearts have been broken, and tears have been shed, but love is divine. Love is a synergy between two people…and that no matter what culture they been raised, background they have learned, and barriers that have been set in place, in the speed of light could drop what ever they had been doing and share that unspoken, unprecedented stream of communication that ties together two hearts for a few short moments. In fact, those moments don’t have to be physical to express the feelings one has for another.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Great Sites
Architects
http://www.jha-arch.com
Development/Leasing
http://www.nedevelopment.com
http://www.shoppingcenterbusiness.com/articles/MAY06/story1.shtml
Financial Planning
https://www.pillarfinancial.com
Jewelry
http://www.shrevecrumpandlow.com/
Photography
http://www.pdimages.freeservers.com
http://www.sarahcalvin.com/
Vacation/Pleasure
http://www.cambridgesidegalleria.com/
http://www.nantucketislandresorts.com/
http://www.notyouraveragejoes.com/locations/
The girl, the girlfriend, the wife
A journal entry dug up from the graves of Bentley...
How this all got started is that one fine day, my roommate Gusto had received this sensual female on his wall on facebook and distributed it to the ones he felt could most benefit from the need for a girl in their life. Thanks Gusto! However, as time would tell, months later, an angel you might call her, answered my wishes. Gusto tells me the secrets to dating?
She connects with me like you connect with the movie Serendipity - you find common characteristics like the number 23 to illustrate Michael Jordan, who wore the number 23, or in other words to illustrate your love for basketball. What about the book? You also liked that book! Isn't is strange how when you aren't looking for love they come looking for you, but when you go out searching for love and are committed to finding that perfect relationship, you nevertheless come back empty handed?
The difference between wanting a girlfriend, needing a girlfriend, and then wishing they were your girlfriend is quite different. Wanting a girlfriend is seeing your friends with girls and feeling inferior or lonely. Needing a girlfriend is wanting to fulfill a desire or pleasure. Wishing they were your girlfriend is not being able to get them out of your mind, what are they doing today, are they safe, or what was the last thing I said to her.
When I was talking to Gusto, who has just come off a tough breakup with his ex-girlfriend, he had ultimately decided to ride it low for a while. Yet one thing was for certain - he claimed and stated that Pistol Pete had indeed lost his way, that he had fallen head over heels for this angel.
For those who haven't seen Tomcats, a hilarious comedy, will just have to picture the following situation. Gusto and I were talking about the 6 bachelors that use to live in Copley North 101 at Bentley College. Isn't it also ironic how he and I had both agreed around the same order in which each bachelor would hang up his finest apparel and say goodbye to the fishes in the sea to be with not just another woman, but a woman whom he loved, and saw himself growing old with for better or for worse as long as they both shall live. I am also not referring to a trophy wife either, I am talking about the tears and pains that are often dimished by the years of happiness and love for one another.
First to say goodbye to bachelorhood: Leo or myself
Murphy
Abubakr
John
Last to say goodbye to bachelorhood: Gusto
Then we talked about how he actually could picture me getting married, and now that I knew what Puertorican Rum was, that I'd better have plenty of it. I said don't worry, but let's talk about that day when it is actually well within my reach and not just an idea or desire that I may have.
So with that said, I looked at all of the movies that made up my DVD library and came up with the following sub-phrases.
40 Days and 40 Nights - "We all make sacrifices once in a while"
Along Came Polly - "And just when it couldn't get any worse"
Anger Management - "Shit Happens"
Bachelor Party - "At this rate, never gonna happen...well me losing out on bachelor-hood"
Billy Madison - "Stay in School"
Caddyshack - "Fun Times"
Cocktail - "One day...someday...maybe...eh who am I kidding"
Cool World - "Pete's World...Hubba Hubba Baby"
Die Another Day - "Diamonds are forever"
Drive Me Crazy - "Only the girls do"
Ferris Bueller's Day Off - "Too many of those"
Happy Gilmore - "Eventually things worked out at the end - got the girl, saved the house, and made a few friends"
It's All About the Benjamins - "Believe me, when? I'm gone...."
Meet the Parents - "Meet your Executioner"
Misery - "Story of my Life"
Paycheck - "Another Day Another Dollar"
PCU - "Missed out on some great parties"
Rudy - "I came, I conquered, I left Bentley College"
She's All That - "Tell me who, and I'll tell you she aint the Virgin Mary"
The Bachelor - "Living the rest of my life"
The In-Laws - "Soon to be"
The Man Who Knew Too Little - "I've been told that"
The Punisher - " THE PUNISHED"
Tom Cats - "Bachelor Indefinitely, I ain't never gonna get married"
Van Wilder - "All who believe in him shall receive everlasting partying"
Who Framed Roger Rabbit - "WHO FRAMED ME"
With Honors - "I chose the wrong path"
How this all got started is that one fine day, my roommate Gusto had received this sensual female on his wall on facebook and distributed it to the ones he felt could most benefit from the need for a girl in their life. Thanks Gusto! However, as time would tell, months later, an angel you might call her, answered my wishes. Gusto tells me the secrets to dating?
She connects with me like you connect with the movie Serendipity - you find common characteristics like the number 23 to illustrate Michael Jordan, who wore the number 23, or in other words to illustrate your love for basketball. What about the book? You also liked that book! Isn't is strange how when you aren't looking for love they come looking for you, but when you go out searching for love and are committed to finding that perfect relationship, you nevertheless come back empty handed?
The difference between wanting a girlfriend, needing a girlfriend, and then wishing they were your girlfriend is quite different. Wanting a girlfriend is seeing your friends with girls and feeling inferior or lonely. Needing a girlfriend is wanting to fulfill a desire or pleasure. Wishing they were your girlfriend is not being able to get them out of your mind, what are they doing today, are they safe, or what was the last thing I said to her.
When I was talking to Gusto, who has just come off a tough breakup with his ex-girlfriend, he had ultimately decided to ride it low for a while. Yet one thing was for certain - he claimed and stated that Pistol Pete had indeed lost his way, that he had fallen head over heels for this angel.
For those who haven't seen Tomcats, a hilarious comedy, will just have to picture the following situation. Gusto and I were talking about the 6 bachelors that use to live in Copley North 101 at Bentley College. Isn't it also ironic how he and I had both agreed around the same order in which each bachelor would hang up his finest apparel and say goodbye to the fishes in the sea to be with not just another woman, but a woman whom he loved, and saw himself growing old with for better or for worse as long as they both shall live. I am also not referring to a trophy wife either, I am talking about the tears and pains that are often dimished by the years of happiness and love for one another.
First to say goodbye to bachelorhood: Leo or myself
Murphy
Abubakr
John
Last to say goodbye to bachelorhood: Gusto
Then we talked about how he actually could picture me getting married, and now that I knew what Puertorican Rum was, that I'd better have plenty of it. I said don't worry, but let's talk about that day when it is actually well within my reach and not just an idea or desire that I may have.
So with that said, I looked at all of the movies that made up my DVD library and came up with the following sub-phrases.
40 Days and 40 Nights - "We all make sacrifices once in a while"
Along Came Polly - "And just when it couldn't get any worse"
Anger Management - "Shit Happens"
Bachelor Party - "At this rate, never gonna happen...well me losing out on bachelor-hood"
Billy Madison - "Stay in School"
Caddyshack - "Fun Times"
Cocktail - "One day...someday...maybe...eh who am I kidding"
Cool World - "Pete's World...Hubba Hubba Baby"
Die Another Day - "Diamonds are forever"
Drive Me Crazy - "Only the girls do"
Ferris Bueller's Day Off - "Too many of those"
Happy Gilmore - "Eventually things worked out at the end - got the girl, saved the house, and made a few friends"
It's All About the Benjamins - "Believe me, when? I'm gone...."
Meet the Parents - "Meet your Executioner"
Misery - "Story of my Life"
Paycheck - "Another Day Another Dollar"
PCU - "Missed out on some great parties"
Rudy - "I came, I conquered, I left Bentley College"
She's All That - "Tell me who, and I'll tell you she aint the Virgin Mary"
The Bachelor - "Living the rest of my life"
The In-Laws - "Soon to be"
The Man Who Knew Too Little - "I've been told that"
The Punisher - " THE PUNISHED"
Tom Cats - "Bachelor Indefinitely, I ain't never gonna get married"
Van Wilder - "All who believe in him shall receive everlasting partying"
Who Framed Roger Rabbit - "WHO FRAMED ME"
With Honors - "I chose the wrong path"
The car, the girlfriend...what's new?
Can you believe this is how the car talks to me...
I have been with you for eleven months now, and in those eleven months, it has been rough, but because I love you, I am willing to go through with it. I didn’t say anything when I was violated in our first month together, you gave me support, you even had some specialists come in and fix me up; I never really got around to thanking you for that. Then a few months ago, some jerk took a whack at me, and you stood up for me. I think you received some money in that settlement, but since you are only interested in yourself, you had some relative put a few screws in me, hoping it would do the trick. Nice try Einstein!
Every morning you wake me up. Let me tell you, I’m getting real tired of you not appreciating me. I never know when I’m going to see you next; it’s all about you isn’t it, depending on the time of day in your busy schedule. You get to sleep under a roof, in a nice cozy bed, but who am I kidding, anything for you! Sure, you give me warmth, but then it’s gone after a half an hour. I’m supposed to sit outside in the pouring rain, even in those windy snow storms and look pretty for you. Then when you come strutting outside in your blazer, and “wanna be” Viscose look, I’m supposed to pretend everything is perfect. How am I supposed to get a good nights’ rest for you, when you’re too busy sneaking off in the middle of the night seeing your other girlfriend or should I say friends that happen to be girls? Oh you didn’t think I knew about that?
It never used to be like this. You would always say goodnight and good morning to me, sometimes you’d come outside on your lunch break at work, and wink at me just to see how I was doing. I felt like you really cared about me and loved me. You’d take me to the spa and there I’d come out feeling like a million bucks. It’s been weeks since you cleaned me.
Yours,
(You didn’t even name me)
I have been with you for eleven months now, and in those eleven months, it has been rough, but because I love you, I am willing to go through with it. I didn’t say anything when I was violated in our first month together, you gave me support, you even had some specialists come in and fix me up; I never really got around to thanking you for that. Then a few months ago, some jerk took a whack at me, and you stood up for me. I think you received some money in that settlement, but since you are only interested in yourself, you had some relative put a few screws in me, hoping it would do the trick. Nice try Einstein!
Every morning you wake me up. Let me tell you, I’m getting real tired of you not appreciating me. I never know when I’m going to see you next; it’s all about you isn’t it, depending on the time of day in your busy schedule. You get to sleep under a roof, in a nice cozy bed, but who am I kidding, anything for you! Sure, you give me warmth, but then it’s gone after a half an hour. I’m supposed to sit outside in the pouring rain, even in those windy snow storms and look pretty for you. Then when you come strutting outside in your blazer, and “wanna be” Viscose look, I’m supposed to pretend everything is perfect. How am I supposed to get a good nights’ rest for you, when you’re too busy sneaking off in the middle of the night seeing your other girlfriend or should I say friends that happen to be girls? Oh you didn’t think I knew about that?
It never used to be like this. You would always say goodnight and good morning to me, sometimes you’d come outside on your lunch break at work, and wink at me just to see how I was doing. I felt like you really cared about me and loved me. You’d take me to the spa and there I’d come out feeling like a million bucks. It’s been weeks since you cleaned me.
Yours,
(You didn’t even name me)
Dating Technology; Why the best isn't necessarily the favorite
A few months ago, I got onto match.com and I’m not going to lie, I had a little help. Although resistance at first, I decided what the heck, I’m always open to new ideas. As I created my profile for the first time, I received minimal visits, and thought to myself, girls what are you waiting for, what do you want from me, what am I missing? Yes girls, that would be “cockiness” The question was not who I want to be, but who I am as a person, from cover to cover. Wow, even that would scare me away, with everything that I have been through and yet everything I have learned. Yes, cockiness to a degree, but again its like riding a bicycle. How do you know when you have failed unless you have fallen down with no one there to catch you, picking yourself up, and attempting to ride and ride again until you master it; then of course you get bored with that and you try something new.
A relationship is a bit different, the theory behind it, is that you are constantly learning more and more about a person, that no matter how much you think you know about them, they always seem to surprise you. But perhaps, the shoes I expect girls to fill are un-fill able. We have all heard of quotas at some point in our life, because they are simply measurements to achieve goals for some form of entity whether it be personal or for business. But again, maybe I am setting the bar too high and looking for perfection.
In thinking about that, words can not accurately attest to everything you want to know about a person, but give you a “snapshot” of what kinds of people, things or places they are interested in. From what I have been able to derive, is that for the most part, girls like guys with a strong head on their shoulders, who view life as half full with opportunity to improve themselves, and who know the difference between time, comfort zone/dependability as well as capability. Then again that could change in the next hour… making physical attraction that much more complex and time consuming.
After many failed attempts of creating what I thought was the perfect profile, I began to browse the open market, and discovered that what girls really wanted varied and that there were only a few common similarities that linked the girls together; only realizing that they shared common similarities to me based on words in my profile. In every encounter or conversation I have been in as a result of match.com, has been incredible and beneficial. There were a few here and there that never went anywhere, perhaps it was my introduction that scared them away, but for the most part, there were more positive results than not.
“Girls are always right”, is simply ridiculous, but “girls seek out until they find what they want” is worthy of the truth. But why does it have to be about her, is it because that’s how it has been done in the past, is now and will be forever? There is a word for that, its called “conditioning”. In an attempt to narrow down the possibilities, she filters the men from the boys, the independent from the “mama’s boy”, the bold from the transparent, and yet as each of these conditions produce results, certain things attract and yet distant you from her. It’s the double edge sword theory of dating. Whoever you are, whatever you do, and no matter how perfect you come across, she’ll ultimately hold the “trump card” to square up with you in the boardroom or pack your bags as she kicks you to the curb. Let’s talk those girls that aren’t the aggressors…
One girl reminded me that going to a red sox game was an experience, ordering the necessities was expected but taught me the most valuable seats in the park are not the ones along the third base line or even right behind home plate, but those out in centerfield. And looking back, she was right. You have a 360 degree view of the ballpark, no worries about being hit with a foul ball or a bat, but enjoy the night or day in the ballpark as one of the greatest pastimes in history. I then had an epiphany that brought me back to my youth, looking back at that kid that entered Fenway Park with his sister, father and cousin, and watching the sox take the field for the very first time; television was one thing, being one of the fans in attendance on that particular day was priceless. Life at that time couldn’t get any better. So with that, the girl argued a great case, and proved me wrong.
Is the best seat at Fenway Park necessarily the best? At what cost does it come? Just as is a Pentium IV, 2.6 GHZ processor, with a 1.0 GB memory viewed also as the best? If you are talking technology, it’s considered better than average, but not the best. How much are willing to pay for the top of the line? How do you determine what’s the best, when technology is constantly changing? From year to year, the product may remain the same, but depending on market demand, economies of scale, and other factors, the price may fluctuate up or down.
Take technology and introduce it to dating. Ok, so we have already done that with “Match.com”, “E-Harmony”, local singles, and the like. Perhaps, if you step back and think about it, girls may be interested in the Pentium II, 1.0 GHZ processor with a memory of 512 MB. I’m not talking age wise, where the Pentium II has definitely seen better days that were considered “royalty” at one point in time, but to the dismay “made to order” for the public as a whole. It’s rather “customization” to the females’ preference. If you could order a cheeseburger at a fast food chain restaurant with all the toppings, mega size the meal deal, and have it in your hands in less than four minutes, you think to yourself why couldn’t dating be this easy? Well for starters, girls don’t cost $ 4.99, and if you “had it your way”, girls would be as predictable as a “medium number 4”.
A relationship is a bit different, the theory behind it, is that you are constantly learning more and more about a person, that no matter how much you think you know about them, they always seem to surprise you. But perhaps, the shoes I expect girls to fill are un-fill able. We have all heard of quotas at some point in our life, because they are simply measurements to achieve goals for some form of entity whether it be personal or for business. But again, maybe I am setting the bar too high and looking for perfection.
In thinking about that, words can not accurately attest to everything you want to know about a person, but give you a “snapshot” of what kinds of people, things or places they are interested in. From what I have been able to derive, is that for the most part, girls like guys with a strong head on their shoulders, who view life as half full with opportunity to improve themselves, and who know the difference between time, comfort zone/dependability as well as capability. Then again that could change in the next hour… making physical attraction that much more complex and time consuming.
After many failed attempts of creating what I thought was the perfect profile, I began to browse the open market, and discovered that what girls really wanted varied and that there were only a few common similarities that linked the girls together; only realizing that they shared common similarities to me based on words in my profile. In every encounter or conversation I have been in as a result of match.com, has been incredible and beneficial. There were a few here and there that never went anywhere, perhaps it was my introduction that scared them away, but for the most part, there were more positive results than not.
“Girls are always right”, is simply ridiculous, but “girls seek out until they find what they want” is worthy of the truth. But why does it have to be about her, is it because that’s how it has been done in the past, is now and will be forever? There is a word for that, its called “conditioning”. In an attempt to narrow down the possibilities, she filters the men from the boys, the independent from the “mama’s boy”, the bold from the transparent, and yet as each of these conditions produce results, certain things attract and yet distant you from her. It’s the double edge sword theory of dating. Whoever you are, whatever you do, and no matter how perfect you come across, she’ll ultimately hold the “trump card” to square up with you in the boardroom or pack your bags as she kicks you to the curb. Let’s talk those girls that aren’t the aggressors…
One girl reminded me that going to a red sox game was an experience, ordering the necessities was expected but taught me the most valuable seats in the park are not the ones along the third base line or even right behind home plate, but those out in centerfield. And looking back, she was right. You have a 360 degree view of the ballpark, no worries about being hit with a foul ball or a bat, but enjoy the night or day in the ballpark as one of the greatest pastimes in history. I then had an epiphany that brought me back to my youth, looking back at that kid that entered Fenway Park with his sister, father and cousin, and watching the sox take the field for the very first time; television was one thing, being one of the fans in attendance on that particular day was priceless. Life at that time couldn’t get any better. So with that, the girl argued a great case, and proved me wrong.
Is the best seat at Fenway Park necessarily the best? At what cost does it come? Just as is a Pentium IV, 2.6 GHZ processor, with a 1.0 GB memory viewed also as the best? If you are talking technology, it’s considered better than average, but not the best. How much are willing to pay for the top of the line? How do you determine what’s the best, when technology is constantly changing? From year to year, the product may remain the same, but depending on market demand, economies of scale, and other factors, the price may fluctuate up or down.
Take technology and introduce it to dating. Ok, so we have already done that with “Match.com”, “E-Harmony”, local singles, and the like. Perhaps, if you step back and think about it, girls may be interested in the Pentium II, 1.0 GHZ processor with a memory of 512 MB. I’m not talking age wise, where the Pentium II has definitely seen better days that were considered “royalty” at one point in time, but to the dismay “made to order” for the public as a whole. It’s rather “customization” to the females’ preference. If you could order a cheeseburger at a fast food chain restaurant with all the toppings, mega size the meal deal, and have it in your hands in less than four minutes, you think to yourself why couldn’t dating be this easy? Well for starters, girls don’t cost $ 4.99, and if you “had it your way”, girls would be as predictable as a “medium number 4”.
Friday, December 01, 2006
There once was a man from Nantucket...
Are you familar with this version? Check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_once_was_a_man_from_Nantucket
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket
But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,
The man and the girl with the bucket;
And he said to the man,
He was welcome to Nan,
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket
Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset,
Where he still held the cash as an asset,
But Nan and the man
Stole the money and ran,
And as for the bucket, Manhasset
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket
But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,
The man and the girl with the bucket;
And he said to the man,
He was welcome to Nan,
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket
Then the pair followed Pa to Manhasset,
Where he still held the cash as an asset,
But Nan and the man
Stole the money and ran,
And as for the bucket, Manhasset
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
The Beaver and the Falcon
Have you ever seen a falcon come face to face with a beaver? Probably not…but what if I was to tell you that they may have interacted at one point in time or another and that their encounter would change their lives forever. Think about it, what if you took the “fierce” component from the falcon, and mixed it with the “independency” of the beaver, you’d get “fiercely independent”. In today’s environment, you have to know what you want and be willing to do whatever it takes to get it; survival of the fittest governed with regulations of society. Falcons are quite the opposite of beavers. They live the fast life, impatiently flying around the world at 200 mph, scoping out their prey, but yet precisely executing their plan of attack. The falcon must have mastered or developed their knowledge in the following:
• Strategy (minimal knowledge)
• Marketing (hunt on certain prey)
• Weather forecasting (developed)
Ok, so there is some form of reasoning to their madness and twisted mind. Think about this, do you think it was possible that the falcon could fly around the world, and inform the beaver when certain seasons or natural events would come, giving the beaver ample time to prepare.
• Win-win situation (beaver could minimize losses; surplus becomes gratis food)
Do you think the beaver acknowledged this service and therefore rewarded the falcon with food (hence goods and services; aka bartering)? Do you think the beaver was impressed with the adventurous side of the falcon and that somehow they could be a deadly combination covering land as well as air?
• Synergy (1 plus 1 = 3; wait that’s not accounting)
• Physical attraction (falcons are risk takers)
Do you think the falcon realized that by slowing things down a little bit, perhaps to 100 mph, they’d still receive quite a reasonable meal plan? Beaver taught them to look at the overall picture, think outside the box - Operational, Tactical, and Strategically Planning. Though different animals they share mutual similarities and together they share one common vision: Accounting. Now you ask how a beaver and falcon can comprehend the mathematical enigma behind income taxes, financial statements, portfolio management and cost/benefit analysis. Well, it’s quite simple… “Beavers are considered cornerstone species since they change the habitat they live in like no other animal”. Beavers tend to interact with others and give back to the community. They stock up their food supply during the peak season and are able to live off that supply when demand isn’t as high (supply and demand). In fact they even give up part of that supply to competition and acquaintances: caring, family orientated, and nurturing.
That means that no matter what environment they are in, they adapt to change. With so many start-up companies competing for market share against the worldwide leaders, and each seeking to profit from growth, why isn’t it such a surprise that the accounting rules and regulations constantly change and amend themselves over time? You have the beavers that plan for the future, and then there are those damn falcons that only plan for that day at a time. They can sure learn a lot from one another.
• Strategy (minimal knowledge)
• Marketing (hunt on certain prey)
• Weather forecasting (developed)
Ok, so there is some form of reasoning to their madness and twisted mind. Think about this, do you think it was possible that the falcon could fly around the world, and inform the beaver when certain seasons or natural events would come, giving the beaver ample time to prepare.
• Win-win situation (beaver could minimize losses; surplus becomes gratis food)
Do you think the beaver acknowledged this service and therefore rewarded the falcon with food (hence goods and services; aka bartering)? Do you think the beaver was impressed with the adventurous side of the falcon and that somehow they could be a deadly combination covering land as well as air?
• Synergy (1 plus 1 = 3; wait that’s not accounting)
• Physical attraction (falcons are risk takers)
Do you think the falcon realized that by slowing things down a little bit, perhaps to 100 mph, they’d still receive quite a reasonable meal plan? Beaver taught them to look at the overall picture, think outside the box - Operational, Tactical, and Strategically Planning. Though different animals they share mutual similarities and together they share one common vision: Accounting. Now you ask how a beaver and falcon can comprehend the mathematical enigma behind income taxes, financial statements, portfolio management and cost/benefit analysis. Well, it’s quite simple… “Beavers are considered cornerstone species since they change the habitat they live in like no other animal”. Beavers tend to interact with others and give back to the community. They stock up their food supply during the peak season and are able to live off that supply when demand isn’t as high (supply and demand). In fact they even give up part of that supply to competition and acquaintances: caring, family orientated, and nurturing.
That means that no matter what environment they are in, they adapt to change. With so many start-up companies competing for market share against the worldwide leaders, and each seeking to profit from growth, why isn’t it such a surprise that the accounting rules and regulations constantly change and amend themselves over time? You have the beavers that plan for the future, and then there are those damn falcons that only plan for that day at a time. They can sure learn a lot from one another.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Not a child anymore
Once you reach the age of 18, you are legally able to break the “umbilical cord” that has been emblematic of your dependency to your parents. For the first time in your life, you can simply refuse their request and walk away. Beware that you can go your own way, but if you do, you are considered independent from your parents; you always have the choice to return home, except now there may be conditions, rules or barriers to re-entering your parent’s house.
We have heard the expression “home is where you make it”. For some of us, it’s our first house, for others it could be the house we grew up in, although there are others. Family trips used to be the only link that kept our family together. As my sisters and I traveled off to college, these family trips became extinct. Then as we have grown older and older, we have each moved away from “mother’s nest” and re-created ourselves in a new environment and atmosphere. For certain days of the year, we try and put our schedules aside, putting family above everything else. However, that is in a perfect world and of course some of us have prior commitments.
A decision is typically based on three measures: acceptance, refusal, or a compromise of the two extremes. In some circumstances, it’s either yes or no; others the decision has already been decided for you. Up until the age of 18, your parents may ask you to do things that you don’t necessarily agree with, but the theory that your parents know best, you do it anyway. You have learned that if you go against your parents, you are punished and therefore conditioned to always do the right thing. Reasoning: Dependent on your parents.
No one likes to be put up against the wall, pushed up against the corner, “held at gun point”, with only one answer being satisfactory; acceptance. Everyone likes options, the ability to reason and analyze to some form of benefit. To some form of degree, it reiterates that individuals are in control of their own life.
Think about it for a second…it’s your life, whatever decision you make there are liabilities and consequences associated with it. You must live with that decision for the rest of your life. In any type of sporting event, taking yourself out of the game doesn’t necessarily mean the game is over; the game will go on without you as will life. Then it got me thinking about how my life has changed; perhaps for the better or worse.
I have always been a firm believer in walking away from a situation I didn’t want to be in. Let me stop right there and explain the reasoning. Obviously, the major component in making a bias, and yet un-rational decision is based on tension. What happened to make me want to feel this way? Some people structure their lives around every minute of every day for weeks, even months at a time. Once that schedule has been altered or changed, it’s hard to adapt to change. So, you walk away, leading to the second part of reasoning. Is this decision going to be for a couple of days or months into the future? In marriage, if something is bothering you, you really can’t walk away for weeks at a time, as it shows you are unwilling to take the situation head on. In other situations, people and places may not be there from day to day. So whatever your decision is, make sure it’s the best decision as it could be your last or the last thing you say to that person. With that said, there are things I regret in life. There are even moments and periods that I wasn’t present at, that if I had said or done something different, may have turned into something great.
We have heard the expression “home is where you make it”. For some of us, it’s our first house, for others it could be the house we grew up in, although there are others. Family trips used to be the only link that kept our family together. As my sisters and I traveled off to college, these family trips became extinct. Then as we have grown older and older, we have each moved away from “mother’s nest” and re-created ourselves in a new environment and atmosphere. For certain days of the year, we try and put our schedules aside, putting family above everything else. However, that is in a perfect world and of course some of us have prior commitments.
A decision is typically based on three measures: acceptance, refusal, or a compromise of the two extremes. In some circumstances, it’s either yes or no; others the decision has already been decided for you. Up until the age of 18, your parents may ask you to do things that you don’t necessarily agree with, but the theory that your parents know best, you do it anyway. You have learned that if you go against your parents, you are punished and therefore conditioned to always do the right thing. Reasoning: Dependent on your parents.
No one likes to be put up against the wall, pushed up against the corner, “held at gun point”, with only one answer being satisfactory; acceptance. Everyone likes options, the ability to reason and analyze to some form of benefit. To some form of degree, it reiterates that individuals are in control of their own life.
Think about it for a second…it’s your life, whatever decision you make there are liabilities and consequences associated with it. You must live with that decision for the rest of your life. In any type of sporting event, taking yourself out of the game doesn’t necessarily mean the game is over; the game will go on without you as will life. Then it got me thinking about how my life has changed; perhaps for the better or worse.
I have always been a firm believer in walking away from a situation I didn’t want to be in. Let me stop right there and explain the reasoning. Obviously, the major component in making a bias, and yet un-rational decision is based on tension. What happened to make me want to feel this way? Some people structure their lives around every minute of every day for weeks, even months at a time. Once that schedule has been altered or changed, it’s hard to adapt to change. So, you walk away, leading to the second part of reasoning. Is this decision going to be for a couple of days or months into the future? In marriage, if something is bothering you, you really can’t walk away for weeks at a time, as it shows you are unwilling to take the situation head on. In other situations, people and places may not be there from day to day. So whatever your decision is, make sure it’s the best decision as it could be your last or the last thing you say to that person. With that said, there are things I regret in life. There are even moments and periods that I wasn’t present at, that if I had said or done something different, may have turned into something great.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Friends are under-stated
It took a person I have just recently met, to remind me of why I started writing in the first place. I then realized that I had become too in love with an idea and forgot about its true meaning. What do I mean? I recently submitted a piece on stating that friends are a sign of weakness, and the more I thought about it, friends are simply under-rated. In order to get close to someone, emotionally as well as physically, you must be able to trust them, and in order to trust them you must know them, and to know them developing a friendship is often the proper foundation.
I simply assumed that when a girl winked at me, or simply acknowledged my presence, that she was interested in me. That’s a 50-50 chance. Interested perhaps or being nice was the answer; the issue is you never know. You just have to late fate and destiny take its course though, sometimes for the better and others for the worse. However, friendship is often passed over like any other means to an end.
There is a difference between business and pleasure that I never really got into. For the past couple of months, I have been conditioned to put my best foot forward, and in talking sports “put up the points on the scoreboard” or produce results with no excuses. In an interview, you are given “one chance” to prove why you are the “best” candidate for that job. In a relationship, the same is true, however to a less degree. The only difference is you don’t have to come out of the starting gate like “Speedy Gonzalez”. In business, there is often that conflict between production and time. In a relationship, time and production is what you make of it, given the resources.
I simply assumed that when a girl winked at me, or simply acknowledged my presence, that she was interested in me. That’s a 50-50 chance. Interested perhaps or being nice was the answer; the issue is you never know. You just have to late fate and destiny take its course though, sometimes for the better and others for the worse. However, friendship is often passed over like any other means to an end.
There is a difference between business and pleasure that I never really got into. For the past couple of months, I have been conditioned to put my best foot forward, and in talking sports “put up the points on the scoreboard” or produce results with no excuses. In an interview, you are given “one chance” to prove why you are the “best” candidate for that job. In a relationship, the same is true, however to a less degree. The only difference is you don’t have to come out of the starting gate like “Speedy Gonzalez”. In business, there is often that conflict between production and time. In a relationship, time and production is what you make of it, given the resources.
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