Dating Technology; Why the best isn't necessarily the favorite

A few months ago, I got onto match.com and I’m not going to lie, I had a little help. Although resistance at first, I decided what the heck, I’m always open to new ideas. As I created my profile for the first time, I received minimal visits, and thought to myself, girls what are you waiting for, what do you want from me, what am I missing? Yes girls, that would be “cockiness” The question was not who I want to be, but who I am as a person, from cover to cover. Wow, even that would scare me away, with everything that I have been through and yet everything I have learned. Yes, cockiness to a degree, but again its like riding a bicycle. How do you know when you have failed unless you have fallen down with no one there to catch you, picking yourself up, and attempting to ride and ride again until you master it; then of course you get bored with that and you try something new.

A relationship is a bit different, the theory behind it, is that you are constantly learning more and more about a person, that no matter how much you think you know about them, they always seem to surprise you. But perhaps, the shoes I expect girls to fill are un-fill able. We have all heard of quotas at some point in our life, because they are simply measurements to achieve goals for some form of entity whether it be personal or for business. But again, maybe I am setting the bar too high and looking for perfection.

In thinking about that, words can not accurately attest to everything you want to know about a person, but give you a “snapshot” of what kinds of people, things or places they are interested in. From what I have been able to derive, is that for the most part, girls like guys with a strong head on their shoulders, who view life as half full with opportunity to improve themselves, and who know the difference between time, comfort zone/dependability as well as capability. Then again that could change in the next hour… making physical attraction that much more complex and time consuming.

After many failed attempts of creating what I thought was the perfect profile, I began to browse the open market, and discovered that what girls really wanted varied and that there were only a few common similarities that linked the girls together; only realizing that they shared common similarities to me based on words in my profile. In every encounter or conversation I have been in as a result of match.com, has been incredible and beneficial. There were a few here and there that never went anywhere, perhaps it was my introduction that scared them away, but for the most part, there were more positive results than not.

“Girls are always right”, is simply ridiculous, but “girls seek out until they find what they want” is worthy of the truth. But why does it have to be about her, is it because that’s how it has been done in the past, is now and will be forever? There is a word for that, its called “conditioning”. In an attempt to narrow down the possibilities, she filters the men from the boys, the independent from the “mama’s boy”, the bold from the transparent, and yet as each of these conditions produce results, certain things attract and yet distant you from her. It’s the double edge sword theory of dating. Whoever you are, whatever you do, and no matter how perfect you come across, she’ll ultimately hold the “trump card” to square up with you in the boardroom or pack your bags as she kicks you to the curb. Let’s talk those girls that aren’t the aggressors…

One girl reminded me that going to a red sox game was an experience, ordering the necessities was expected but taught me the most valuable seats in the park are not the ones along the third base line or even right behind home plate, but those out in centerfield. And looking back, she was right. You have a 360 degree view of the ballpark, no worries about being hit with a foul ball or a bat, but enjoy the night or day in the ballpark as one of the greatest pastimes in history. I then had an epiphany that brought me back to my youth, looking back at that kid that entered Fenway Park with his sister, father and cousin, and watching the sox take the field for the very first time; television was one thing, being one of the fans in attendance on that particular day was priceless. Life at that time couldn’t get any better. So with that, the girl argued a great case, and proved me wrong.



Is the best seat at Fenway Park necessarily the best? At what cost does it come? Just as is a Pentium IV, 2.6 GHZ processor, with a 1.0 GB memory viewed also as the best? If you are talking technology, it’s considered better than average, but not the best. How much are willing to pay for the top of the line? How do you determine what’s the best, when technology is constantly changing? From year to year, the product may remain the same, but depending on market demand, economies of scale, and other factors, the price may fluctuate up or down.

Take technology and introduce it to dating. Ok, so we have already done that with “Match.com”, “E-Harmony”, local singles, and the like. Perhaps, if you step back and think about it, girls may be interested in the Pentium II, 1.0 GHZ processor with a memory of 512 MB. I’m not talking age wise, where the Pentium II has definitely seen better days that were considered “royalty” at one point in time, but to the dismay “made to order” for the public as a whole. It’s rather “customization” to the females’ preference. If you could order a cheeseburger at a fast food chain restaurant with all the toppings, mega size the meal deal, and have it in your hands in less than four minutes, you think to yourself why couldn’t dating be this easy? Well for starters, girls don’t cost $ 4.99, and if you “had it your way”, girls would be as predictable as a “medium number 4”.