It took a person I have just recently met, to remind me of why I started writing in the first place. I then realized that I had become too in love with an idea and forgot about its true meaning. What do I mean? I recently submitted a piece on stating that friends are a sign of weakness, and the more I thought about it, friends are simply under-rated. In order to get close to someone, emotionally as well as physically, you must be able to trust them, and in order to trust them you must know them, and to know them developing a friendship is often the proper foundation.
I simply assumed that when a girl winked at me, or simply acknowledged my presence, that she was interested in me. That’s a 50-50 chance. Interested perhaps or being nice was the answer; the issue is you never know. You just have to late fate and destiny take its course though, sometimes for the better and others for the worse. However, friendship is often passed over like any other means to an end.
There is a difference between business and pleasure that I never really got into. For the past couple of months, I have been conditioned to put my best foot forward, and in talking sports “put up the points on the scoreboard” or produce results with no excuses. In an interview, you are given “one chance” to prove why you are the “best” candidate for that job. In a relationship, the same is true, however to a less degree. The only difference is you don’t have to come out of the starting gate like “Speedy Gonzalez”. In business, there is often that conflict between production and time. In a relationship, time and production is what you make of it, given the resources.
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As I previously discussed develop a friendship. Here is where it gets challenging. Keep pace in the friendship – if she moves forward you move forward, if she says things are moving too fast, you jumped the gun. Avoid situations that may cause her to feel uncomfortable e.g. going back to your place, going to a movie theater, driving in your car, etc. In either of these situations, there is no exit strategy. Meeting up for coffee, grabbing lunch or even walking around town with no purpose, at any time she has control to walk away without making a scene; a girl needs options.
So assuming you go out for lunch, a true relationship will be split down the middle. Each picks up their part of the tab as well as splitting a tip. That is of course in a perfect society, and from the beginning of time (Adam and Eve), the system is often altered for maximum satisfaction. It's a tough call, because you are either looked at by being too cheap in preparing microwaveable dinners or then if you go to a fancy restaurant, the bill will burn a hole through your pants. Tell her that you'd rather save the green for bigger and better things e.g real estate and/or jewelry. Remember don’t be too forward about it as asking for commitment after only a few months can send a girl kicking you to the side of the curb.
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