The Death of A Mouse

Revisiting this post, and approaching the summer of 2007. When I first wrote this on February 19, 2007,

2007 has been a year to remember, and interestingly enough, it's not even a quarter of the way over. In a series of strange, eventful, and un-expected circumstances, I still find myself asking the burning question “What the heck just happened”.

In a recent ad in “Fortune” magazine, there was a study that illustrated that 20% is a measure of proving yourself while the other 80% is room for improvement. I believe that is a fair assessment. However, my father reinforced compulsive, honesty, and discipline. Without an understanding of those three, you can never get anywhere in life.

Compulsive – living beyond your means, over-extending yourself to be someone that you aren’t.

Honesty – a measure of credibility

Discipline – means to be honest with your own self and enforce not being compulsive. Also doing what you said you were going to do.

At the time I originally wrote this, I believed my only logical explanation in life has been a balance of ups and downs, or otherwise negative mixed with positive interactions. As an inspiring accountant, I never thought I’d be referencing back to the basic lessons of accountancy 101, in comparing it with life’s troubling dilemmas.
1. Women are always right
2. Women are never wrong
3. Pre-Marriage: Men are on the one strike system
4. Post-Marriage: Men begin the life of suffering

Sounds like the psychological test of the mouse and the maze. But, what I am about to get into is the story of how the mouse did not reach the end of the maze but decided to gnaw his way through the walls and make his own destiny. Most interactions between two partners, often called “one-night stands” don’t even make it past the first stage nevertheless friendship status. There is often the anxiety to want to jump directly into a relationship without getting to know the other person first. Then there is the excitement factor. You want to tell them so much about yourself that you end up scaring them away. Grab a cup of coffee and keep it low key. Establish a neutral zone, and remember the first date is all about her. If she likes you, she’ll make conversation, and conversely if she doesn’t, well game over. You may call it breaking away from your normal behavior, what I call it is “adaptation”. It goes back to the theory of the “director and the actor”. If you create your own script, you are simply replaced.

If the mouse had done what the master had wanted, and struggle through the maze eventually reaching the end, the only thing the mouse would have accomplished was escaping the wrath of failure. As long as it did what it was asked and succeeded in every task, there was nothing to worry about. Twenty years and counting you have gone on living not knowing this person even existed. What is three months, or even a couple of years more? She’s not a flashlight, stick in a battery, and she’s good to go. She is more like the recipe that you won’t find in any cookbook. A little bit of this, a little bit of that, and presto, there she is; in other words time. Yet getting to know them might seem tedious but then again may prevent a failed relationship in the long run.

What do you think happens to the mouse that broke his way through the maze, and made his own destiny? Each person needs to feel that they are always in control, that sometimes they need their own “personal space”. The mouse saw its future and panicked. It could very well be that the mouse is living life as a bachelor. Then again women might say that there is a cat waiting on the other side, and in due time, he will pay the ultimate price-his life. In a fairy tale world, he may just meet miss mouse, and live happily ever after.

In the world in which we live, you can never have too many friends. “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. Now, just as a little exercise I did a little research about Virgo, and not all Virgo’s will be characterized as … fussy, narrow-minded, and taken advantage of, but some concerns I had were answered in reading the characteristics of a Virgo. For instance, they have a passion for the “service to others” profession i.e. doctors, teachers, etc. Ok, not so much a concern but now I know why the interest.

More importantly, Virgo’s are the types of individuals to have been hurt in a relationship, and instead of creating a barrier to getting close to anyone else, they remain positive and not let the little things get in the way. I originally guessed a Libra because of being very “sociable”, but it’s definitely not to say that Virgo’s can’t be sociable. Nor is it to say they aren’t Pisces, as being overly “romantic”. As another characteristic Virgo friends are there to listen to whatever you have to say. Not at all would I consider them to be “fussy and narrow-minded”, the stereotype that is often associated with Virgos.

The difference between a friend, and a distinguished colleague, is a friend is someone who is willing to talk things out, abstract or on a personal level, offer advice, or more importantly is there when you need a shoulder to lean on; yeah there is family, but sometimes you need someone other than family to vent. A distinguished colleague is simply someone who has been recognized or acknowledged by someone else.

However, what boggles my mind into the quenching galaxy that it yearns to travel to once in a clear blue day, is how an individual such as myself can go from being an extreme romanticist to being disliked and dismembered from the female population. Then it dawned on me, that I may have created an irrational, un-womanly set of beliefs.
1. Women are partially right
2. Women are partially wrong
3. Pre-Marriage: Men should be considered for “overall performance” and not just a single act of misfortune.
4. Post-Marriage: Men should be scared of proposing into a life of torture

In comparing apples to oranges, Match.com to Eharmony, there are clearly differences between the two. Clearly stated, you get what you pay for. It has been six months since I joined match.com, and to be honest I have been reminded of a few great principles. Great looks and personality, only takes you so far in life; for though it’s one thing to talk a great game, another to actually live it. Match compares you on a scale that isn’t rocket science, what is your age, what is the age you are looking for in the opposite partner, do you smoke? Do you drink? These are simply considered one dimensional questions. For every one question, there is only one true answer. If you really want something, you have to go out and earn it; merely getting it served on a silver platter is nothing to be proud of. So I figured, why not Eharmony, the 26 dimensions of dating. As you progressed through your own individual personality profile, what the site was ultimately doing all things considered was creating your compatibility to another individual based on how you would respond to certain situations or behavior.

Eharmony and Match.com have served their respective purpose. However, at the end of the day, the answer was right underneath my nose the entire time. Any great manager can bring you to the game, have you dress up, and you wait patiently for your time to come, stepping up to the plate in the spotlight. That’s when the lessons you’ve learned will be put to the test.